So March was...well let's just pretend March didn't happen. For the month of April, I am giving up sweets!!! Now, notice I didn't say sugar, because that's just plain crazy, but I am giving up cake, cookies, brownies, candy, chocolate, pie....oh, this is sad!
Seriously, though, I didn't used to eat all this stuff (yikes - I forgot about ice cream!), but when Jarrett and I started living together, I was faced with the fact that he can eat ANYTHING and gain very little weight. He did have a brief period of "chubbiness" (for him, that is) in college when the beer flowed like water, but he stopped drinking so much, and switched to diet coke, and voila...skinny Jarrett again. He expects sweets around the house, probably because he grew up with them around the house because his family exhibits this foreign amount of self-control unseen by the Elliott clan. So after dinner, he whines for sugar...could be ice cream, cake, or any of the other above mentioned things which I will not be eating for the month of April. Gradually, he wore down my sensibilities (ok, so it didn't take that much work), and all of these sugary treats became a part of our lives all the time.
So now, I am faced with two choices - either I stop bringing those things into the house and face the whining of three people, or I learn to control myself! I probably should do a little of both, because Ava is clearly in need of SA (Sugarholics Anonymous) as she will pitch an all out fit if I don't let her have dessert after she's finished her dinner. This is probably another sign of how pitifully inept I am raising my children to be, but this is a blog about my weight, so I won't get into that here.
This week, I also discovered that I am extremely close to meeting the threshold for bariatric surgery. I have had several reactions to this: 1. I really need to fatten myself up so I can get this surgery and lose all this weight. 2. How could I not be fat enough? 3. How could I be that fat? Number 3 is where my mind has stuck, because I have always associated that surgery with people who are extremely obese, but when you look at the numbers (BMI), that's exactly what I am. That's sad and scary. I also feel myself getting older - joints are achy, I can't get down or up as easily as I used to, and I am seeing....arthritis in one of my fingers!!! These are all signals to me...obvious signs of what needs to be done for the future of me and my family....but still, I have not really had that CLICK that helps me make better choices. What if that CLICK never happens?
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Month 2 - BUTTER!
For the month of February, I have given up butter. Now, I may have chosen this for the shortest month of the year, but it was not a conscious decision. I have not put butter on anything so far, and I haven't particularly cared. One thing I really love is a waffle or pancake with nothing on it but butter. Luckily, I haven't been faced with that temptation yet!
Our school's Biggest Loser Competition begins Monday, so I will need to get on top of the whole weight-loss situation - so far I've done little more than just give up what I plan to give up. In January, I gave up eating out, and my commitment to continuing a limit on eating out will be that I will no longer eat out on my own. I have a bad habit of stopping somewhere in those rare moments I'm alone in the car. And when I do stop, its never for a salad! Cheddar-Bo's at Bojangles are a definite issue in these situations. I don't stop as much when the kids are in the car because then I would have to buy them something!
I also need to be exercising, but it has been so cold here I've found myself making excuses. I'm starting to feel a lot of pain in my lower back and I think its because I'm not doing much. I need to get myself moving!
Our school's Biggest Loser Competition begins Monday, so I will need to get on top of the whole weight-loss situation - so far I've done little more than just give up what I plan to give up. In January, I gave up eating out, and my commitment to continuing a limit on eating out will be that I will no longer eat out on my own. I have a bad habit of stopping somewhere in those rare moments I'm alone in the car. And when I do stop, its never for a salad! Cheddar-Bo's at Bojangles are a definite issue in these situations. I don't stop as much when the kids are in the car because then I would have to buy them something!
I also need to be exercising, but it has been so cold here I've found myself making excuses. I'm starting to feel a lot of pain in my lower back and I think its because I'm not doing much. I need to get myself moving!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Do free things count as eating out?
So I did pledge not to eat out this month, and I don't think I have. I definitely haven't paid for anything, but I get a free sample of a breakfast Hot Pocket yesterday at Sam's yesterday. If that does count, I screwed up by eating two bites of disappointment! They look so good on the box - maybe it would be better if I ate the whole thing. The other issue is that Fridays are Frosty days for the girls. There's a Wendy's by Ava's daycare and on Friday, we always get a Frosty because they made it through another week. I make it a big deal, but really I have a bunch of free coupons I bought back at Halloween. So, technically, I didn't pay for it when they ate it. And I didn't have one, so I should be ok....maybe?
I feel good about this week other than the above questionable moments. I only exercised one day, but that was good. Hannah and I went to the park across the street from school and walked the trail that's 1.1 miles. We walked at a normal pace and made it around in 20 minutes. Hannah really enjoyed this 1-on-1 time with me, so I think she may hold me accountable in this area. I just need to leave school at a decent time!
Ava has been a terror this week. Ok, that's probably exaggerating, but she has gotten in a lot of trouble at school, which of course embarrasses me since I'm a teacher, but also makes me very frustrated and confused because I don't know what to do to fix it. When Hannah was 4, she went through the same thing, but Hannah actually feels guilt when she makes me mad, so she fixed it pretty quickly. Ava is, well, definitely not as quick to care how she is affecting those around her. Not sure what to do next with her....not that this has anything to do with losing weight, except that I may be putting a 40 pound child up for adoption soon!
I feel good about this week other than the above questionable moments. I only exercised one day, but that was good. Hannah and I went to the park across the street from school and walked the trail that's 1.1 miles. We walked at a normal pace and made it around in 20 minutes. Hannah really enjoyed this 1-on-1 time with me, so I think she may hold me accountable in this area. I just need to leave school at a decent time!
Ava has been a terror this week. Ok, that's probably exaggerating, but she has gotten in a lot of trouble at school, which of course embarrasses me since I'm a teacher, but also makes me very frustrated and confused because I don't know what to do to fix it. When Hannah was 4, she went through the same thing, but Hannah actually feels guilt when she makes me mad, so she fixed it pretty quickly. Ava is, well, definitely not as quick to care how she is affecting those around her. Not sure what to do next with her....not that this has anything to do with losing weight, except that I may be putting a 40 pound child up for adoption soon!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
doing well....
Well, everything has gone well so far. I haven't done so well with exercising, but I haven't eaten out at all. I think part of it, and this will attest to my ridiculous obsessive nature over some things, is that I have been writing meals on the calendar ahead of time. I'm not a crazy meal planner, but I have figured out dinners for the week, so I've written them on the refrigerator calendar. Because I don't want to go against what's on the calendar, I don't change it! It's also helped that I have no money to buy anything :) January is always hard because teachers get paid when we leave for Christmas, so there's no pay check for six weeks :(
Work has been good this week. I don't want to jinx it, but the kids have been great and I'm enjoying the routine. It helps with the eating too. I stay busy and only eat at appropriate times. I notice as soon as the kids leave I'm more willing to eat junk. Especially when I'm just hanging out talking with friends. I guess I need to get out of there as soon as I can so I won't hit the treat bucket too often!
Work has been good this week. I don't want to jinx it, but the kids have been great and I'm enjoying the routine. It helps with the eating too. I stay busy and only eat at appropriate times. I notice as soon as the kids leave I'm more willing to eat junk. Especially when I'm just hanging out talking with friends. I guess I need to get out of there as soon as I can so I won't hit the treat bucket too often!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Starting fresh
I'm hoping posting here will mean I'll hold myself more accountable for getting healthy and staying that way. I've lost and gained and lost and gained and lost and gained for the past 30 years to the point that one would think I was just completely unconscious of how to maintain a healthy lifestyle. On the contrary, I have a pretty good understanding of how to lose and maintain weight, but what I lack is the willpower. I love to eat. I was raised to clean my plate and praised when I ate seconds. I love cheese and butter and white bread and would LOVE to eat out every day. I also love to cook, but generally lack the time and finances to cook the things I want to. I am a teacher and I have three little girls, so that takes most of my time. I went to a gym for a while, but I've had to cancel the membership because of cutting back on expenses. I never really went that regularly and when I did go, I saw very little progress.
To lose weight, I must burn more calories than I eat. That means I need to cut back on the foods that are bad for me and the volume of food I eat, but also exercise daily. Again, that willpower thing comes into play. I'm so tired/busy/stressed/insert cliched excuse here, that I usually put off what I should be doing. Eight weeks ago, though, I gave birth to my third little girl. She is absolutely precious and amazing and just as wonderful as her big sisters. She also deserves a mom who takes care of herself. I may have great blood pressure and cholesterol with no history of any diseases or disorders, but my weight means I probably won't live as long as I could if I would just do something about it. If I can maybe see her grandchildren one day by just putting to use knowledge I already have, then what is my problem?!?
So here's my plan - I will give up one thing each month that I both love and which causes me to continue to be fat. When the month is up, I will get that thing back, but will still limit myself somehow that I feel I can live with. I will also exercise daily and keep a journal/blog of what goes on throughout this year. I have brainstormed some of the things I could give up:
eating out
white bread
butter
sweets
cheese
red meat
processed foods
late night snacks
I have decided to start with eating out. NO EATING out in January! I even got the family to agree to it, although I don't think the 4 year old really grasped the lack of chicken nuggets and fries the coming month would bring and the baby is really not giving much up! Anyway, we'll see where this journey takes us....
To lose weight, I must burn more calories than I eat. That means I need to cut back on the foods that are bad for me and the volume of food I eat, but also exercise daily. Again, that willpower thing comes into play. I'm so tired/busy/stressed/insert cliched excuse here, that I usually put off what I should be doing. Eight weeks ago, though, I gave birth to my third little girl. She is absolutely precious and amazing and just as wonderful as her big sisters. She also deserves a mom who takes care of herself. I may have great blood pressure and cholesterol with no history of any diseases or disorders, but my weight means I probably won't live as long as I could if I would just do something about it. If I can maybe see her grandchildren one day by just putting to use knowledge I already have, then what is my problem?!?
So here's my plan - I will give up one thing each month that I both love and which causes me to continue to be fat. When the month is up, I will get that thing back, but will still limit myself somehow that I feel I can live with. I will also exercise daily and keep a journal/blog of what goes on throughout this year. I have brainstormed some of the things I could give up:
eating out
white bread
butter
sweets
cheese
red meat
processed foods
late night snacks
I have decided to start with eating out. NO EATING out in January! I even got the family to agree to it, although I don't think the 4 year old really grasped the lack of chicken nuggets and fries the coming month would bring and the baby is really not giving much up! Anyway, we'll see where this journey takes us....
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