So March was...well let's just pretend March didn't happen. For the month of April, I am giving up sweets!!! Now, notice I didn't say sugar, because that's just plain crazy, but I am giving up cake, cookies, brownies, candy, chocolate, pie....oh, this is sad!
Seriously, though, I didn't used to eat all this stuff (yikes - I forgot about ice cream!), but when Jarrett and I started living together, I was faced with the fact that he can eat ANYTHING and gain very little weight. He did have a brief period of "chubbiness" (for him, that is) in college when the beer flowed like water, but he stopped drinking so much, and switched to diet coke, and voila...skinny Jarrett again. He expects sweets around the house, probably because he grew up with them around the house because his family exhibits this foreign amount of self-control unseen by the Elliott clan. So after dinner, he whines for sugar...could be ice cream, cake, or any of the other above mentioned things which I will not be eating for the month of April. Gradually, he wore down my sensibilities (ok, so it didn't take that much work), and all of these sugary treats became a part of our lives all the time.
So now, I am faced with two choices - either I stop bringing those things into the house and face the whining of three people, or I learn to control myself! I probably should do a little of both, because Ava is clearly in need of SA (Sugarholics Anonymous) as she will pitch an all out fit if I don't let her have dessert after she's finished her dinner. This is probably another sign of how pitifully inept I am raising my children to be, but this is a blog about my weight, so I won't get into that here.
This week, I also discovered that I am extremely close to meeting the threshold for bariatric surgery. I have had several reactions to this: 1. I really need to fatten myself up so I can get this surgery and lose all this weight. 2. How could I not be fat enough? 3. How could I be that fat? Number 3 is where my mind has stuck, because I have always associated that surgery with people who are extremely obese, but when you look at the numbers (BMI), that's exactly what I am. That's sad and scary. I also feel myself getting older - joints are achy, I can't get down or up as easily as I used to, and I am seeing....arthritis in one of my fingers!!! These are all signals to me...obvious signs of what needs to be done for the future of me and my family....but still, I have not really had that CLICK that helps me make better choices. What if that CLICK never happens?
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